Aed jokes
What's the difference between a spare tire and dead hookers? I don't have 8 spare tires in my trunk.
You're so ugly that when you came out of the haunted house, you had a job offer.
My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.
I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.
What do you call a fat, lazy person who smokes weed? A baked potato.
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents
Jerry: My dad got into a fight on a plane.
Jeremy: That's just *plane* crazy!
I like wine how I like my woman.
4 year old locked in a basement.
Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.
What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?
A knight knight.
Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
What do you call a white kid who kills another?
Russia vs Ukraine hahaha.
I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.
When Ariana Grande walked into the church, she said, "GOD IS A WOMAN!"
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.