Aed jokes

Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...

Well nvm, they shot him dead.

How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.

Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?

Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.

Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?

My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).

If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.

Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"

When this guy fell off a cliff, he got an A+ for egg-cellence!

All zodiac signs have a signature hairstyle except for cancer. :)

What do you call a Jedi that can use the force to fly?

A Jedi Flight.

I know you’re feeling in a haze, but please enjoy your last three days.

Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.

Actor: Really? What do I do?

Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)

You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you… wait… also the regret after.

In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.

Stephen Hawking robbed the Apple store looking for a charger.

Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?

A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.

What did the cell phone say to his wife?

"I will give you a ring."

I used to think that I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagi-asian.

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HELP! I MIGHT BE A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST BECAUSE MY RHYMES ARE DA BOMB.