Aed jokes
Q: Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?
A: Because it was too tired!! 😴😴😴
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
...Full!
What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.
What does a house wear?
A dress.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine. But why did seven eat nine? Because seven knew you had to have three squared meals a day.
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
The only person I'd have a cooking lesson with is Hitler.
My Asian girlfriend has a weird name. As I gave her anal, she was yelling "I'm too young."
Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?
It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.
Got a PS5 for my little brother yesterday, best trade I'd ever done.
On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care center, how hard is it to get into Oxford?
I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.
You realize you're in a paradox until you die. You'll see yourself die by murder, suicide, old age, etc.
Then you realize you're dreaming, but you realize that if you die in a dream, you die IRL.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to take Snoop Dogg for a walk.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put Vin Diesel in her gas tank.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to mop the floor with Taylor Swift.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to ring Kristen Bell.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to skim Dwayne Johnson across a lake.
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.
“Super Power Beer,” he says.
“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”
Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage whatsoever. He walks back into the bar.
“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof — and falls 15 stories to the ground.
Splat.
The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.
What do you call a woman with one arm and one leg?
Eileen.
How did Fortnite record their henchman sounds?
They asked a bunch of kids with Down syndrome to film a documentary.