Aed jokes
I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.
Because obviously she doesn’t listen.
Why don't terrorists like Walmart?
They prefer a Target.
Why is the chicken that crossed the road a cannibal? Because he went to KFC.
What's the best part of a terrorist on Fourth of July?
The finale.
If Kenny had a son, we all know he would also be his brother.
Fine I'll soon turn this wasteland of a page into r/Admech and r/AdeptusMechanicus habitable sites by myself
Stick your head up someone's butt. What do you get? A Butthead!
"Get your butt out of my face!"
"Then get your face out of my butt!!!"
What do u call a person called zaid? Zait and za3tar. lol
"A N N O Y I N G - D O G - R O B - Y O U R - S A F E."
What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?
Oooooooooh girl, you lion!
"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.
What war did the black community win?
The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.
I have a brother and he told me this quote, "No wonder they had a second child, they messed up on the first one." He’s the second child... I’m the first...
I always use chloroform when stealing a child.
What do you call a Hippie's Wife? A Mississippi.
So, one day in 3rd grade, I was making this art piece and I was talking about my friend that was a boy that I have known for 5 years. But then, the other boy at my table named Coen Jones shouted, "NO! I'M THE ONLY BOYFRIEND YOU CAN HAVE!" As soon as I heard all that, the teacher and the rest of our class was shocked while our table was just laughing their butts off, but laughed so hard, I fell out of my chair!
What would Patrick be if he was a dumbass and an autistic person?
A dumbism star.
The Israeli government is the biggest joke of all.
In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:
"Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."
(Pause)
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."
"Jeff who?"
"Bezos."
A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.
That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.
That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
Why did the girl 👧 bring lipstick 💄 to beauty school?
Because she had a make-up exam.