Aed jokes
Tell rumors about me, but please don't say I'm in a love relationship.
She asked me if I was hung like a horse, but I said no.
I'm hung like a person who wants to die, but then the rope broke.
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.
What's a whale's favorite James Bond movie? "License to Krill."
A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?
Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.
A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.
First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."
Okay so not a joke but like- There's a fucking noose in my school gym.
What's the difference between a square peg in a round hole and a kilo of lard?
One's a good lot of fat; the other's a fat lot of good.
A kid asks Trump:
Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"
Trump: "There they are, bud!"
Q: Why do birds need feathers?
A: To cover up their butt quack!
One time, I was making a caramel apple.
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The ten minutes of silence.
Little Red Riding Hood says to the wolf: "What a big dick you have!"
Wolf: "The better to f*** you with!"
You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!
I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3
Davin is a pedo.
I made a website for orphans, unfortunately it doesn’t have a homepage.
How do you get a smoking hot body as a senior?
Cremation.
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.