Aed jokes

Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.

Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?

What do you call a mug? A mug dummy.

I know a little girl who once had an accident. When I asked her what her favorite song was, she responded with "🎶Head, shoulders, wheels, and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"

What can you build with people? A boat!

Your momma so fat, when she asked for a water bed, she got a concrete bed.

Q. Why did the cow cross the road?

A. Because he/she wanted to watch the moooovie.

I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!

What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"

Over summer, I shot up my school and left a note saying, "I could have done this anytime!"

I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."

I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."

He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."

Wow, paint can, you have such a colorful personality!

Your mom's a lead, Poe.

So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.

The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"

Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?

He got 12 months.

Worst joke ever.

What do you call an animal that smells?

A smelly-phant.

That joke is really not funny.

What do you get when skeletons are dancing in a tin can?

Noise!

An apple walked into the clinic.

The doctor asked what his favorite color was.

The apple said "red." :)

When you start sweating after filling in "C" for the third time in a row.

What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?

A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.

If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?

"Ghost Musterd."