Aed jokes
A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"
The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
You're a bish, and you are too!
Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.
My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^
Pontypool is rough.
A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.
A man lost his left arm.
He's all right now.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
What sits in the corner and gets smaller and smaller? A baby with a potato peeler.
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
Why is 69 annoying me? Oh, it's a tease.
There was an enemy with a machine gun.
My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."
So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.
Why can't an orphan go on away games?
Their parent will never show up!
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
Some people don't appreciate what I do for a living.
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What do you call a policeman/farmer?
A farmer in blue!
If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.
I don't know why everyone cares so much about 3D printers. I've had a Canon printer for years.
What do you call a person who tries to get you on a dating website... a Brodie.
For a while, lead was used in pencils, but... we realised that it might not have been the smartest idea because it lead (badoom ching) to some people getting lead poisoning.
How did pioneers name Canada?
They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"
That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"