Aed jokes

Yo mama so fat that when she crossed the road, people mistook her for a roundabout.

I was gonna tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.

What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.

An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."

I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" The man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon."

Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.

Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!

Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.

The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.

In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!

What did one twin tower say to the other? "Be back, I gotta catch a plane."

I met a kid with Down syndrome the other day. He told me he was into rock music. He told me his favorite song was "Down With The Syndrome." Kinda drooled while attempting to sing it.

What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.

I got a pen for my baby sister. Best trade I made so far.

Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?

Because they can’t see their parents.

I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."

Are you Wi-Fi? Because I think I am finding a connection.

What do a fisherman and a prostitute have in common?

They're both hookers.

It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.

"What are my choices?" he asked.

"Yes or No," she replied.

What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?

A milk dud 😂

What do you call a 90-year-old black man?

Antique farming equipment.

What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?

The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.

Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?

A: Retired Farming Machinery.