Aed jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
To all the children on this website, hello!!!!! Hey!!!! How is life treating you?
(BTW I'm a kid, too. I'm Hayley, and I'm turning 13. My B-day is 10/08/2008.)
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
A boy sat in his bed, watching a meteor shower. He was a vengeful child and wished that his parents would no longer bother him whilst he was gaming.
The next morning, he woke up to find his mother had passed away in the night. Clearly his wish had worked. However, his father worked a midnight job, and as such the boy was very confused when he returned home from work, expecting him to have met the same fate.
The two of them then looked out the window in thought, only to find the milkman lying dead on the pavement.
Man: I'm here for the job interview.
Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews.
Man: Just anywhere?
Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right?
Man: Yeah, that's me.
(Shakes hands and sits back down)
Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson?
Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. It really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir.
Employer: I like you already, you're hired!
Man: Wow, thanks, sir. I know I won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job!
Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy.
Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade?
Employer: No.
Man: This... This is a photography job, right?
Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.
Here's some of my weird jokes:
What are rhinos? They're unicorns that let themselves go.
Joke # 2: Why do triangles try every angle of its house? Because it's in its name.
Joke # 3: Wanna hear a cheesy joke? Sorry, the mouse got to the cheese first.
Yo mama's so fat, when Thanos snapped, she only lost a few kg.
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
A Chinese drug dealer said to me, "Do you like my cocaine?"
I replied, "Not since he starred in Zulu."
Who's a rapper that likes to walk around naked?
Nudacris.
Run on a sandpaper floor-treadmill hybrid in a medium sized room for 24 hours. It will be fun!
I am on the German website.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Gary. Gary who? Gary a torch.
Q: How did we learn cats don't land on their feet?
A: We asked Mufasa from the Lion King.
Can I tell you a cat joke?
Yes, 'cause it's purr-fect.
Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.
Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"