Aed jokes
A ball hit me in the vagina.
Do no doctor start with A and A+?
When a man loses his testosterone,
Man: Could I please have a loaner boner?
Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.
My dick is hard as a rock, anyone wanna fuck?
Mary had a little lamb.
Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.
I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.
The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.
What is a snake's favorite drug?
Adder-all.
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
A computer usually has a HARD drive. LESSON. No wonder they remember things.
What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children.
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times? A Brazil nut.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io!