Aed jokes

I went up to the deaf kid and said, "I’m going to punch you in 3, 2, 1." And he ended up with a broken nose, and I said, "You should have listened to me!"

I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.

My dad has a pretty shitty job.

What do you call a group of gay gamers?

Rainbow Six.

I'm a poor Indian, please help me.

Did you hear that Ted Nugent had a beer thrown at him at one of his shows?

Answer: He was okay. It was a draft, so he dodged it easily!

Jack is a ugly meany who’s not going to my birthday!

When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.

Spell "attic."

Okay. A-T-T-I-C. /a titi/ tata. I see.

I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:

1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.

I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.

I can make a living with the "Treat Yo self" budget.

Yet I can’t use the "Help yo self" budget.

One time, I was making a caramel apple.

When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!

I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.

What do you call an Indian?

Person in red. Cart a pack of Maltesers.

What do you call a person who measures air? Airometer.

You're so skinny, you can barely fit through a door crack.

Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.

I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.

How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?

'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.

What does an orphan say a lot? "Where is my house?"

How do you give a woman from Alabama a nice compliment?

Answer: You say to her, "Hey, nice tooth!"