Aed jokes

What do you call a pig at the beach?

Bacon.

I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. I grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs, and said, "GTA physics."

What is an orphan's favorite superhero? Batman.

What do you call a not potty trained human?

Amber Heard.

Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.

Little Johnny paints them black.

Little Johnny went to a gun store.

Little Johnny made a big mess.

The cemetery people were getting paid.

You got a pig head!

Everyone thought I'd have a great year...

14 years just gave me more chances.

What's at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?

A nervous wreck.

I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!

Why did the snake eat a panda?

A girl's pussy is a muff, and when we have something against our mouths, they say our voice is muffled, so do I think the origin of the word "muffled" is talking while eating muff?

"I need to go to the doctor!"

"Why?"

"It has a crack in it."

The Demon when it gets summoned to earth only to find out it was a spelling mistake in Latin class. 😬

I got more followers than Charli, because I brought a bottle of filtered water and food through Africa.

I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.

Lucas is a baby, a little girl, ooo!

Well, a lock and a key were going on vacation, but the key said, "Help me, I'm stuck!" and then the lock said, "I think I am in lock-shary."

I read the Brothers Grimm books, then I see a black figure reaping about.

I realized someone has died, but I don't do anything about it. I continue to read, and that's when I realized that I was one of the characters, in which at the end, dies.

One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.

Two Chinese men walk into a bar.

"Owwwwwwwwwww," they say instead of "ouch."