Aed jokes

Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.

And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.

A 90 year old man takes a Viagra.

Strips off naked, lies down in an alley way. Three chicks walk on by: a blond, a brunette, and a red head.

The red head said, "I'm not letting that go to waste," so she strips off and rides him. When she's finished,

The brunette then strips off naked and rides him. The blond's now worried because she just got her period. The red head sez, "He's dead. Don't let it go to waste," so she strips off naked and rides him. Then he wakes up. He then says, "Wow, two jump starts and a blood transfusion. I'm good to go!"

A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.

Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."

What's the difference between a pool and a toddler?

One doesn't scream when you go in dry ;)

Went to my local Indian restaurant and asked the waiter for a chicken tarka Masala.

The waiter said, "What's that?"

I said, "It's the same as a tikka, just a little otter."

A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.

What is the difference between a puppy and a fork?

I don’t microwave forks.

Roses are red, I have a confession:

A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.

Putin be like, Finland and Sweden are bullying me with NATO, the same NATO that can't even reload a gun! Russians are pussies!

Roses are red, you have a nice lip, it would look better if it was on my tit.

If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?

You know how on Snapchat "hmu" means hit me up? A school posted "smu." Nikolas Cruz responded.

My dad said I should look if I could move a log. Well, he had to go get milk.

What do you get when you kill a brown chicken and brown cow?

Dead chicken and dead cow.

I saw a guy beat his girlfriend to a pulp after his girlfriend threw a phone in his face. I offered to call an ambulance, but he said he was fine.

Me: 911, I just killed someone.

Cops: Cool, we will not come.

Me: Why?

Cops: Don't admit a crime.

Phones: *Bang Bang*

Me: Well, that was 2 crimes done.

Jesus was a carpenter who got nailed to a piece of wood.

I lent my calculator to a friend. He is using it to this day.

What did the explorer say when he got tired?

I'm gonna take a map.

What's longer than a penis?

About anything.