Aed jokes
What's the difference between a car and a car?
I have absolutely no idea, sorry.
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?
Yo mama was so fat, the Earth was flat before they put your mama in a grave.
What has 182 teeth and holds back a monster?
My zipper.
Why was there a, ummmmm, a cow?
.......... To moo.
School days
If a pirate was a pervert, he would say, “Are you ready, kid?”
What happens when the Twin Towers breathe? They collapse like an orphan with stage 4 cystic fibrosis who lives in the streets of Africa.
9/11 was a round of Clash of Clans. They knocked down two towers, not three.
Q: What did the Jewish person say when he beat me in a race?
A: Eat my dust.
Your mom is so ugly that she made a mirror shatter.
You know how Joe Biden is happy?
When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.
How does a booty stay in shape?
It works its glutes off!
Why did the rapper become a locksmith?
Because he always had the KEYS!
What’s a booty’s favorite type of bread?
Buns.
What do you call a booty that’s always negative?
A pessimist-cheek.
What do you get when you cross a butt with a phone?
A booty call.
How does a rapper fix stuff?
With a RAP-AIR!
What's the difference between a cop and bacon?
Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.
If someone's debating the speed of light and a drunk Russian, the Russian would take speed to grab a falling wallet.
That was a really crappy bun!