Aed jokes
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no balls?
Still no fucking idea.
Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.
The sir: My children will be devastated.
Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.
The sir: Whatever it takes.
*Suppressed gunshots*
Q: Name a murderer?
Aborted fetus: My mum.
Why do orphans want an iPhone S? Because it has a home screen.
Kobe played I Spy and he said, "I spy a mountain."
What do you call it when you light a person in a wheelchair on fire?
Cooking the vegetables.
"Zre, um, be careful when using a gun, okay? And meh not fat, boy."
Dear Kenya, love of life,
Thanks for commenting on my jokes, and thanks for being a nice person to me! Love, Jaden. You can tell by the emojis 🥰😍❤️💞!
Love you a million times more!
Roses are red, I am very cool, You, on the other hand, Need to drown yourself in a pool.
The Queen: "I've had a few medical problems this year. I'm so old that my pussy is haunted!"
If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They're trained for that.
A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.
Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"
Why can an orphan relate to a pack of bananas?
Because they both split away from their family.
What's the difference between a dick and a rock?
One's hard.
Why did the dumb blonde take a shower outside of the house while it was raining?
Because the dumb blonde did not pay the water bill!
What do you call a gay man that is not a vegetarian?
A cocksucker.
There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."
Me: *in a family meeting*
Mom: Ok guys...
Me in my mind: BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA