Aed jokes

So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the roll, and then I said, "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?

Both of their legs don't work.

I molested a child today, and it felt quite lovely on my penis! 👍

I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.

Random person: Minecraft is actually more peaceful than real life.

Me: Well, screw life. Maybe if I light a fire on myself, I will go to Minecraft (my excuse for suicide).

If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

Are you a bullet?

*gets shot*

Why were the octopi sad?

Ugly 2d big tittied girls kept fucking him idk im a horny 14 year old.

What's the difference between an American police man and a Christian?

At least a Christian kneels in church.

Yo mama so fat that she should be worried for her health and go see a doctor.

Why don’t you peel a banana?

It’s too hard to kill your nana.

Me and my cancer

Are like a game of Fortnite.

I’ll never win.

Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.

Hi. Did sskskss sis askance ddodks sjissmsnsiam a sksddkddd mc?

So a cupcake walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says to himself, "Damn, this is some good shit."

What do you call an Asian that steals cars? Tommy toke a motor.

Someone telling a joke:

Boy: "My parents are dead."

Girl: "My grandad is too."

Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"

Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"

I’m posting this again cuz I can and cuz it got thumbs downs and cuz I’m bored. Stop being sensitive snowflakes and get a sense of humor. Geez.

What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.

He might have been a Fortnite player. Respect him.

I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite.

They just need to leaf people alone or stick with something nicer.