Aed jokes
What happens when a sink on the Titanic overflows?
It sinks it.
Man and woman are having a discussion. The woman looks into the man's eyes and says, "Honey, you know how I like it when you walk up and stick it in . . . "
". . . but I love it when Bob walks up and sticks it in!"
Divorce is scheduled for next month.
What is an egg?
What’s red and bad for your dental health? A brick.
What’s invisible and bad for you to breathe? Mustard gas.
What’s green and bad for you to drink? Radioactive waste.
Two rabbits were racing. Neither could get ahead, so they ended in a hare-tie!
Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"
Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef!
When your wife gets pregnant and you don't want a kid, just come on down to Momma Mia's Pizzeria and abortion clinic!
Ya, I have a Hydro Flask.
H: My Y: Grandpa D: Sticks R: His O: Cock F: Up L: My A: Ass S: K:
Spongebob: Easy now, you try first. Get a jar.
Patrick: *picks up nuke*
Spongebob: Patrick, that's a nuke!
Patrick: Yes.
Nuke: *boom*
What does an Asian call a penis? A wong.
What does an Asian do with its legs? It wok.
I said to my wife that she's so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back.
What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?
...Ollie the clown!
Uranus has a lot of poop. Yeah. That is my joke.
What do you call a knight that has one arm? A first battle night.
What do you call a knight that lost both arms? A two battle useless knight.
That's a knee slapper, or should I say, a wheel slapper?
All of the sudden, if you're Republican, you're racist, and Communism is a symbol of freedom? What happened to the proud men our founding fathers were, damn it!
Yo mama so old, on her birth certificate it said "expired."
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittles popped out.
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.
Yo mama so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a shopping list.
Yo mama so ugly, she made the devil go to church.
Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.
Random person: What stuff? 🤨
Me: What?
The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!
Me: Colourful flamingo fart.
A woman once didn't return home for the night, and the next morning when she arrived home, her husband started questioning her about where she had been. She lied, saying she slept at one of her friends' houses.
The man proceeded to call all her friends, all of whom denied her sleeping at their places the previous night.
Meanwhile, somewhere else, a man didn't return home to his wife for the night either. The following morning, his wife started questioning him, and he lied, saying he slept at a friend's house. She proceeded to call all his friends. All of them said that he indeed slept at their places the previous night, and one of them even insisted that he's still there, but he's using the bathroom and he can't talk right now!