Aed jokes
Jerry: My dad got into a fight on a plane.
Jeremy: That's just *plane* crazy!
What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?
A girlfriend likes a bad boy.
Why can't orphans cross roads?
They don't have a parent to hold hands with.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
They need a parent's signature.
I was asked to give a bicycle joke, but I couldn't...
I was two tired.
Why was the computer late to work?
Because it had a hard drive!
Thanks Ethan for all you've done. We've both made mistakes when all is said and done, but just thanks for being a good friend. This is officially my last post on here, Ethan-Real 1.
What is Mexican's favorite food? A taco.
Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?
A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.
How did the person feel when his partner wouldn't perform a golden shower on him? Pissed off.
Yo mama so Irish that she thought the Chicago Shamrox were a Quadball team.
In Jr. high, we all had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood and wrote a report on how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.
Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?
Q. What do Canadian women and Canadian beer have in common? A. They're both stronger than they look.
You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.
And an exorcism.
My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"
Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."
"When I was in jail, my girlfriend abandoned me. I created a fascination with becoming a gynecologist. When I got bailed out, I became a Travis Bickle."
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
How do you get a smoking hot body as a senior?
Cremation.