Aed jokes
I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"
How do astronauts have a party?
They planet.
Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.
Call this for a gay old time! 0275535101
If the sun had a kid, it would be like father, like sun. 🤓 😎
What is an emo's favorite place?
Niagara Falls.
I've been sad recently that the Twin Towers aren't around, so I made the conclusion to build a time machine to watch it again.
You know, it takes a lot of balls to successfully compete in women’s sports as a man.
I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."
When a 68 year old teacher says: "I am going to tackle an intruder if I have to!"
Me: "Oh hell nah"
What do you call a lion as a baby?
Cocota
What do you call a man in love with an emo?
I really don't know.
What are 8 people hiding in a corner because they're scared?
An octopus.
Oh dear, I made a backwards ray. Let's test it. I made a backwards ray, let's test it oh.
What do you call a movie about an orphan?
The Bat Man.
What happens if a boy bumps into a dog?
It’s a bumper team.
Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.
What do you call a house with no one living inside?
An orphan house.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
What state starts with an "a a lama"?