Aed jokes

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

What do you call a rapper who's always cold?

Chill MC.

"BlessedBrian must be a SMOKE DETECTOR... because he never fails to kill the vibe."

I've seen more charisma in a wet mop than in BLESSEDBRIAN'S personality.

BlessedBrian’s sense of humor is like a GPS without signal... LOST and going NOWHERE.

Leo must be a parking ticket... not because of the “fine” thing, nah, it’s because she’s OVERSTAYED her WELCOME.

Watching paint dry sounds like a thrill compared to spending time with Slade.

If brains were taxed, Slade would get a rebate.

Jack is a loser and a gaybo and a trans and a fanny face.

Even Bob Ross couldn’t paint a happy little accident like BLESSEDBRIAN.

What's a rapper's favorite kind of pet?

A boomboxer.

Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."

Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."

Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."

Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."

I'm what they call a ✨️askhole✨️.

A person who will consistently ask for your advice and wisdom, but then proceed to do the exact opposite of what you say.

Daveon is so straight, he can't even handle a slight bend in the road.

Daveon is so straight, he thinks a straight line is the shortest distance between two points and nothing else.

What happens when you eat a cat?

I love to eat cats for dinner!

I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.

And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.

It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.

What instrument does a special ed kid play? An autistic guitar.

Why did the short person become a chef?

Because they could "microwave" dinner without needing a stool!

"When I was in jail, my girlfriend abandoned me. I created a fascination with becoming a gynecologist. When I got bailed out, I became a Travis Bickle."