Aed jokes
What’s the difference between someone’s wife and a plate?
They both have to stay in the kitchen.
POV: You're sitting here waiting for a good joke. I wait, unfulfilled.
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
Why can't a citizen in communist China, especially a Chinese male who is between 18-29 years old, buy a box of condoms in a drug store in communist China?
Because the condom would be too big for the penis of Chinese men in communist China.
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
A kid asks his mom what dark humor is.
She says, “You see that man with no arms, tell him to clap.”
“But mom, I’m blind!” says the kid.
“Exactly,” replied the mom.
I love climbing over walls because my ancestry was Mexican.
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
What do you call a rapper's pet?
A HIP-HOP-POTAMUS.
Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.
Passengers: *Clap*
Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.
Flight Attendant: And what is that?
Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*
Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---
Don't be racist, I am a building.
Twin Towers: fucked.
It was fake.
BE RACIST.
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.
What's Adam's biggest fear?
Andy with a belt.
What do you call a blonde?
A piss-head.
What is blue and sits in a corner? A baby in a baggy.
So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"
Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!
How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in the zoo, But don't you worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you!