Aed jokes
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
A guy walks into a gun store and everything is half off. He looks at his son and says, "I didn't know back to school sales started yet."
What do you call a wife who knows where her husband is at all times?
A widow.
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Friend: You look like a baboon.
Me: Stop talking, you look like a gorilla, so I might call animal control on you and I'll be seeing you at the zoo!
What is the oldest animal in the world?
A zebra—it is black and white.
There are more genders than there are cars in a Walmart parking lot.
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."
The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
Bible Verse of The Day - For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.
—Romans 8:15-16
What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?
A tire.
(A tire as in clothes and the tire? U get it? No? I'm lonely. Add me on Xbox: DECIMUS PAX)
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
My granddad died in Auschwitz in WW2...
He fell from a tower.
It's a RUF life in Africa.
What do you call a chicken with no legs? Ground chicken 🤣💀🐔 Get WRAY'DDDDD!
Get a fucking life, you horny bastards!
When you mix a wizard, a rabbit, and a songwriter together, you get 24 carrot magic.