Aed jokes
Yo mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.
What has a bottom at the top?
Your legs.
Two girls are at a play and are about to go on the stage.
Ally before the other girl goes on stage: Break a leg!
Rachel: Alright!
On stage, Rachel trips over a stand and breaks her leg.
Rachel calling backstage: I broke my leg!
Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.
Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.
I was just sitting down when all of a sudden she screamed, "Help!"
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
There was once a dark room with a dark light and a terrible electrician.
What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg.
Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!
Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT
Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they need a parent’s signature.
I think I gave you the coronavirus because I can't stop staring, a-choo!
Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.
Why can’t an orphan have a dog? It always runs away.
I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. 🏠 It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?
Q: Why doesn’t Toledo have a professional football team?
A: Because then, Cincinnati would want one.
If you're mad, hire an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents? 🤣🤣
What is big, fun, [and] loud?
A school bus 🚌
Me and my brother talking about relationships.
Me: We live kind of differently.
Brother: We're sort of alike.
Me: We're not alike.
Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!
My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!
What's the difference between a businessman and a businesswoman? Wo!