Aed jokes
What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?
A foreign exchange student.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"
Who's white and has a big penis? Michael Jackson.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.
What's common between a feminist and a knife?
They both stay in the kitchen.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
What’s the difference between a Jew and an American? The American makes it out of camp.
How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!
Why should you put an autistic person in a refrigerator?
Because otherwise you’ll get a rotten vegetable.
(Not meant to be triggering).
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.
What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?
The Chinese kid has a home.
Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"
What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench?
The bench can support its family.
What's a suicide bomber's biggest fear?
Dying alone.
What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?
It becomes a flee market.
What's a delinquent mitten's favorite sport?
Badminton.
Why did he die?
Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.