Aed jokes
Q: What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?
A: The homepage.
Your mama's so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus.
If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Why did the heterosexual man put a mask on his cock to protect himself from COVID? Silly boy.
What is anonymous 🤔 oral masturbation? the politically correct word for anonymous gay fellatio from a 🕳 glory hole inside a 📖 adult book store
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The "p" is silent.
I almost secretly married a watermelon, but I cantaloupe.
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
Apparently, Monica Lewinsky didn't vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
The only reason why Murrikkkunts think Canada isn't free is because incest is illegal in Canada, in which one can face a sentence as long as 14 years in prison if convicted.