Aed jokes
"Do you want to hear a joke?"
"Yes."
"Okay, record yourself and then listen to it!"
Why did the Roman not eat BBQ chicken?
Because he "wasn't a veggatarian."
What type of bird does not have feathers on itself?
A bald eagle.
What does this joke and half a deck of cards have in common? You can't even deal with it!
10/7 is probably a spinoff of 9/11.
You can't convince me otherwise.
Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.
I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.
What was the guy with no arms, legs, or a head name?
Matt.
Three copycats on a boat, one jumps off. How many are left? Zero, because they're copycats!
How do I get out of the toilet seat? Help me, please. I'm very stuck!
Where do you mix a bunny and a hare?
Bunny hair.
So, three guys are walking carefully into a bar.
The bartender said, "What can I get you, gentlemen?"
What did Osama have?
Two Boeings and a dream.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off.
Okay, moving on, you took too long. How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply:* Idk how many)
3: Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply:* 3...)
Wrong, 4: Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
Why did Sully fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
You're the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
But why did 7 eat 9?
'Cause you need 3 square meals a day :D
Muslim religion is just pregnant women saying "Allahu Akbar" and exploding a bus.
An emo and a leaf fall from a tree, which hits the ground first?
The leaf, because the emo got caught by the rope.
What's the difference between the woods and a hooker?
Some hookers have passions for nature. Other hookers will Kill ThEIR Tricks for payback!!!!!!
A Russian, a Cuban, and an Englishman are on a ship. The Russian takes a swig of vodka and throws the bottle overboard. The Cuban and Englishman with astonishment say to the Russian, "What did you do that for?"
The Russian says, "In Russia, we got an unlimited supply of vodka."
A little while later, the Cuban lights up a cigar, takes a puff, and throws it overboard. The Cuban says, "We got an unlimited supply of Cuban Cigars in Cuba."
Then the Englishman grabs a Paki and throws him overboard...