Aed jokes

If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?

What is a Irish 💋 😗 kiss 💋 a blowjob from a gay Irishman

My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice. I called it "cold hard cash."

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?

Artificial Intelligence.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.

I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me, "Yeah, I can read braille." So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read, "Screw you, asshole."

What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?

Both their parents were separated.

I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...

no one could tell that it was their blood.

A husband and a wife have four children. The oldest three are tall with blonde hair. The youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said, "Honey, can you be completely honest with me? Is our youngest son mine?" The wife says, "I swear to all that is holy, he is your son." Then the husband died and the wife muttered, "Thank god he didn't ask about the other three."

Your forehead is so big that teachers use it as a whiteboard.

When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.

What do you call a joke without a punchline?

10 Fun Facts.

1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)

So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."

Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?

A: One got to finish a race.

Why did the heterosexual man put a mask on his cock to protect himself from COVID? Silly boy.

My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.

Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible, but the reception was great!