Aed jokes
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?
Both of those are commonly found in basements.
What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?
A KIDNey!
What do Karens do when they have free time?
They do KARENoke and sing a Karen song.
What do you call a fish with no parents?
An orfin.
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
You were born on a road. That's where most accidents happen.
Why does Mario eat mushrooms?
Because he's a very fungi!
Why can't your nose be twelve inches?
Because then it would be a foot.
What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 Detour.
My mom holds up a hot dog and shouts, "WHO WANTS A WIENIE!?"
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣
Why doesn't the orphan date the girl?
Because she is a home-y.
I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.
It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?
Son: Why?
Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
Why can't blind people have a seafood diet?
They have to see food to eat.
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!