Aed jokes
Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.
The orphan wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
Why did the child cross the road?
Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.
There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."
ohio lol
So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
What do you call a guy named Kaiden?
I don't know, lol.
Yo mama so hairy that she got a haircut and lost 47 pounds.
What do super fancy music conductors wear?
A Louis baton.
What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.
"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
Which school supply is king of the classroom? A ruler.
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."
My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.