Aed jokes

As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.

My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.

If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.

How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.

How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.

How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.

10/7 is probably a spinoff of 9/11.

You can't convince me otherwise.

What do you call a funny rapper?

A PUN-ISHER!

Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?

I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...

What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?

Miracle Whip.

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"

Why can't there be a gay disabled person?

Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.

Emos,

They're always a cut above the rest.

Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.

A lion would never drive while drunk.

But a tiger wood.

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."

Voting is like doing a group project in school.

I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.

After 6 months of lockdown,

I was thinking a bit about Bin Laden. He stayed at home with 3 wives for 5 years. I'm beginning to suspect he called the Navy Seals himself.

What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?

No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.

Did you know Disney is making a movie for suicidal people?

They're calling it Finding Emo.

We must start a propaganda for baked beans.