Aed jokes
What do you call a waterfowl looking at you from around a corner?
A Peking duck.
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.
What kind of car does Pikachu drive?
A Volts-wagon.
What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?
Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.
Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?
Kid: A garden?
Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.
If you have a bad day, go tell an orphan to find his parents. He will be searching all day.
How did the man in prison escape?
He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.
Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?
Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.
What's an orphan's favorite movie? "Going Home."
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
Yo mom is so fat that when she stands on a scale, she broke it, lol.
If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
Yo mama so fat, when she play a game, everybody lags.
What do you call a legless table? Nothing.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?
One goes up and one goes down.
What appears over Ash’s head when he gets an idea?
A LightBulbasaur.