Aed jokes
By the law, you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle.
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
What do orphans do after they win a game?
Nothing, they have no one to play games with.
What did one twin tower say to the other? "Be back, I gotta catch a plane."
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.
What's a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer.
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
Anyone else think High School Musical would have been a better film with a school shooter?
I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.
I was fuming when I lost my job as a window cleaner, like who built the Twin Towers anyway?
What did Omnicron say to Delta?
"Same race, bud, different evolution."
"SIX FEET AWAY, OMNI! SIX FEET AWAY!"
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Your mama's so fat, I don’t know if it is a hippo or not.
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."