Aed

Aed jokes

Library

  • This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

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  • Difference

  • What’s the difference between a prostitute and a Twinkie?

    Nothing. They both squirt their white stuff when you eat it.

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  • Swamp

  • During the Great War, a man holding a machine gun shoots down a swarm of soldiers running on a swamp.

    He says: "You came to the wrong swamp, Americans! You came to the wrong swamp!" *He didn't stop firing.*

    Head

  • Remember the big forehead kid who said, "Give me a knife, I'm going to kill myself" because of being bullied?

    His head was too big to even exist, and that's why he's dead.

    Alphabet

  • Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)

    I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.

    (Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)

    (Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])

    What letter is really hot? T

    C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK

    ME SExUAL SRrY LoL

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  • Candy

  • Johnny and Jill went up the hill to lick Jill's yummy candy.

    But Johnny got a SHOCK With a mouthful of COCK Because Jill's REAL NAME?

    Was Randy. 👹

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  • Brother

  • A boy and his friend were walking down the street.

    Boy 1: "Bro, you still got my Nikes?"

    Boy 2: "Yeah, sorry. I got them dirty."

    Boy 1: "Please clean them, we have school tomorrow."

    Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.

    He came in twice.

    (like if u understand)

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  • Monkey

  • Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"

    "Oh honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.

    So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" So the sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"

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  • Grade

  • I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.

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  • Dad

  • I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."