Aed jokes
You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.
One day I caught my sister talking to my girlfriend, and she said, "You never told me you're lesbian." I said, "No, not at all." My girlfriend asked, "Why did you not tell her?" and I said, "Because every time I bring a girl home, I hear too much noise in her room, and I never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash." She said, "Yeah, the trash is her junk."
I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.
A kindergarten class is learning about the alphabet. The teacher asked, "What comes after M?"
Little Timmy reached into his backpack and yelled, "16!"
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
I wrote a few jokes:
What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.
Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.
What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.
Q. What do rapists fear more than rabies?
A. Rape babies.
What do you call a group of Indians that eat curry all the time?
The Munch Bunch.
Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound. Daddy has that game, too!”
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to Chick-fil-A.
I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
"Twins sitting in class."
Me: Casually throws a paper plane at them.
Quote of the day:
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.
Chao!!!
If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?
Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?
She said a monster attacked her.
What wiggles and waggles?
A floppy dick!
So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."
And her mom said, "WHAT?!"
And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"
Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."
If a cat or a dog plays Among Us, it will wanna be the impawstor.
If you have a bad day, go tell an orphan to find his parents. He will be searching all day.