Aed jokes
What do a circle and a sphere have in common?
They're round, and round is a shape.
What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?
We have a case of Witzelsucht.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?
An AK-46.
What can't a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions?
They can't be way too loud.
What do you call a Russian rifle that went 1 rank down?
An AK-46.
I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"
Why can you slap an orphan?
Are they going to tell mommy?
What do you call a fat person in a wheelchair?
A broken wheelchair.
Why did the priest buy a clown suit?
Because the old one had blood all over it.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to take Snoop Dogg for a walk.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put Vin Diesel in her gas tank.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to mop the floor with Taylor Swift.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to ring Kristen Bell.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to skim Dwayne Johnson across a lake.
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
What do you call a gay woman? I don't know.
It's past April Fool's Day, and we still have a joke as president.
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."
Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.