Aed jokes
Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?
Kid on Xbox: I'm not a virgin. Ask your sister.
Bully on Xbox: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Kid on Xbox: You will in 9 months.
What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?
Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
Why are washers better than babies?
Washers don't cry when you put a load in them.
Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.
Why did the Roman not eat BBQ chicken?
Because he "wasn't a veggatarian."
Roses are red, violets are blue, my heart is dead, I'm such a fool. -Juice Wrld
My crush: "I cut 4 inches off my hair yesterday." Me: "So?" My crush: "4 inches is a lot!" Me: "Oh yeah?"
Orphans are just wannabe children. They want a family.
What do you call 2 Indians on a dating website? Connect the dots.
What do u call a person called zaid? Zait and za3tar. lol
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
"Terrorist, that’s a little strong. We call them private militaries."
I like to commit arson as a recreational activity, you?
Why was an oven so smart?
It had 70 degrees.
The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a "yo mama" joke.