Aed jokes
Ask a darkie for a light.
What does a polite mouse say?
"Cheese and thank you."
Why does an orphan go to a spelling bee?
So they can spell "home."
What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.
I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.
Why are Japanese always so skinny?
Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.
Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.
I'm going to hell!
Why is Hitler a hjhjfbfhf? Because he’s Hitler!
How to kick a deaf person off the plane:
Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.
Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.
Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.
My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.
when is rape wrong on so many levels?
inside a lift.
What's an emo's favorite game? Hangman.
What has teeth but doesn't use them to chew? The answer would be a comb or a piano, but technically, if you ripped someone's teeth out and hand them to them, they have teeth but can't chew with them.
Roses are red, my pencil is blunt.
A parrot trapped on a roof keeps telling the fire crew to f*ck off!
As a son, I like sports, and I watch sports with my mom. So one day, we were looking at football. My mom asked me who makes the most money. I said the quarterback.
My mom told me I'm going to get a quarterback as my new boyfriend, and it'll be your new stepfather. A week later, my mom went out. I came home, and I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said, "What's going on?" My mom said, "Look, my new boyfriend and new stepfather is the high school quarterback." My mom said, "See, mission accomplished." I said, "Yeah, job well done."
On my 21st Birthday, my mom told me, "I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child, you're going to get something good, something you've been looking forward to," is what my mom said.
Me, my mom, and my only friend celebrated my Birthday, then we all went to sleep. I woke up the next day. I asked, "Hey, where's my gift you said you got me?" My mom said, "Since your father left us, you have no father figure in your life, so this is your new stepfather." The only thing is, it was my only friend.
How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?
Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"
When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?
“Chip Chip Hooray!”