Aed jokes
Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?
They'll say "yea."
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?
He can't choose between black or white.
A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."
A woman once falsely accused me of rape, and I was sentenced to life in prison.
PLEASE CONSIDER LAUGHING now 😂
The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.
My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?
Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D
Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?
Me: Call The Police Ka!!!
"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."
"What's been going on, John?" I asked.
"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.
The dirty bastard!
An emo tried to give a tree a hive, but it left him hanging.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
A couple enters a Chinese restaurant and takes their seats.
The waiter asks, "想吃什么 (Xiang Chi Shen Ma)?"
The wife responds, "吃鸡巴 (Chi Ji Ba)!"
When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.
Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?
To take care of his erectile dysfunction.
What are 8 people hiding in a corner because they're scared?
An octopus.
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
The potholes so big in Oklahoma Can make a whole garden.
Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.
I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.
Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.
Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.