Aed jokes
I was listening to some Drake in class.
My teacher shouted to turn it off. She then exclaimed that "Drake is mid and his music is very Pessi!" I didn’t understand the meaning until I checked the dictionary and realised it is a synonym for overrated.
I went to watch Ghost Rider at a cinema in Paris. As I took a seat, I saw none other than Pessi sat at the front row with a pen and notebook. I asked him what he’s was doing at the cinema since there was a big game coming up. He replied, “I’m taking notes from the best.”
And vanished.
I was doing a 10km run with my good friend Pessi. As we were setting up our smart watches, the watch voice asked us if we wanted to do a solo run or a group run.
Pessi proceeded to smash both our watches and shout, “I don’t want solo run, I want Penalty!”
Shame on you, Pessi!
Eibar-Man! Eibar-Man! Does whatever a ghost can.
Scores a tapin With Xaviesta’s assistance. Misses a pen From close distance.
Lookout! Here comes the Eibar-man!
What does a bear beat off with?
His bear hands.
What is a tree that does not exist?
A money tree.
Why can't orphans go to a five-star hotel?
Q. When is your grandfather's bedtime?
A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
You see this guy's sense, bahh? If it was a cartoon, it would be an avatar. Cause why?
Anytime he needs it most, it vanishes. 😹💔
Joe Mama is so fat that when she sat on an iPhone, it turned into an iPod.
You wanna hear a good joke, kiddos?
Gods being real. (Newsflash, all gods are manmade. THEY'RE ALL FICTION!)
"Cheesus" hates me, yeah, I know, 'cause he's a real douchelord fictional character.
What's the difference between a God and my mom?
My mom exists. I mean... she did at one point! Unlike any "Gods."
So, Biden, Zelensky, and Putin are on a plane, and the plane loses altitude and goes down, but there are 2 parachutes. Putin takes the first one and jumps because he is a greedy twat. So he jumps, but then Biden says, "You go, Zelensky. I am much older than you, and it is ok for me to die." So Zelensky takes the second one and jumps, but when he did, the plane regains altitude, and Biden got to Washington, DC, all fine. They found out the reason was Zelensky's steel balls.
What happens if a boy bumps into a dog?
It’s a bumper team.
In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.
What do you call a dipshit?
A Charlie.
What is an orphan's least liked meal? Family dinner.
Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!
There are three people on the steps of Heaven. God tells them all he is having a good day and if they make him laugh by telling him how they died, he will let them in.
The first one said, "I just finished a long day of work and I get home, and right as I stepped in, I knew my wife was cheating on me. I searched everywhere and I couldn’t find anybody, so I got a drink and went to the balcony, and then I saw him, hanging off the ledge of the balcony. I kicked his hands, but he wouldn’t fall, so I threw a Refrigerator at him, and I fell with the Refrigerator."
God busted out laughing and let him in.
The next person walked up and God told him the same thing he told the other person. God told him that he didn’t think that he could make him laugh more than the first person. The second guy said, "So get this, I’m a window washer on the 8th floor. I’m washing the windows like normal, and this enraged psychopath walks up and starts kicking my hands, and then he throws a refrigerator at me and I die."
God bursts out laughing so much to where he falls off his chair, and he lets the guy through. The next guy comes up and God tells him the same thing he told the last two people, and he tells him that there is no way that he can make him laugh more than the other two did. So he starts talking. "So get this, I’m in a refrigerator..."