Aed jokes
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
My stepsister is a big titty goth. Should I tap that?
My uncle was a priest.
He had a two-inch penis, but when it was in my ass, it felt like a torpedo.
Are you a knife?
Because I want to deep throat you.
An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country.”
The Asian man says “I’m here traveling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of fried rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong”
Why did the moderator of worstjokesever.com die?
He had a heart attack because he was a fat loser.
My friend and I got into a fight. I looked straight forward and said, "Look me in my eyes!"
Ever looked at a cemetery and thought, wow, Heaven and Hell must be crowded?
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?
You put food on the ceiling and they start jumping.
My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.
How do you organize a space themed birthday party?
You planet.
When is the best time to punch a midget in the face?
When he’s standing next to your girlfriend and says your hair smells nice.
If an orphan was an animal, it would be an owl because they don't know "WHOOO" their parents are.
Yo mama is so short, Minions look down at her.
Yo mama is so fat that she volunteered for the Hunger Games 'cause she thought it was an eating competition.
Yo mama is so ugly when Santa Claus saw her, he yelled "Ho Ho Holy Sh*t!"
Yo mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
What is a computer's favorite snack? Cookies!
What was one cool thing about Hitler?
He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.
Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.
What do you call an emo dating another emo?
The suicide duo.
If you’re gonna have a gangbang, make it extreme!
Rape jokes like cancer jokes or AIDS jokes are just humorous wordplay. If you don't agree, send me your details, and we'll see if you prefer actual rape to a harmless rape joke... YOU SAD SACKS OF HUMORLESS SHIT MUNCHERS!