Aed jokes
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.
If I'm holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?
A really fucking huge cricket.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
My favorite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
Chicken on a stick with a macaroni tick.
What a magic trick, it's so bad!
Too bad, chick.
Yo mama so stupid, she told the police a kid raped her.
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
What does a stray cat/dog have in common?
Both of them don't have a home!
Stranger: Tries to kidnap a kid.
Kid: Runs home.
A few minutes later, the kid was in the back of the van...
If you know, you know.
So you're saying a penny is worth more than a penny?
That don't make no cents.
What's a baby orphan's favorite joke?
"When am I gonna see my parents?"
Lmao.
Why is an orphan and a dog friends?
A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables.
The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.
I would make a 9/11 joke, but it just wouldn't land.