Aed jokes
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
What do a priest and a McDonalds have in common?
They both slide their meat in 10 year old buns.
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
Why did hockey wookie slap kissing Missy in the face? Because Huggy didn't get a kissy from Kissy Missy.
When you’re in India and you start hearing a tick, tick, tick, tick, you run!
Just ask for a hotspot on September 9, 2001, you'll know.
Best friend makes joke about 9/11.
Me: My pop was a part of that!
Best friend: So sorry!
Me: My pop was the pilot of the plane, he flew through 89 floors.
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?
Why is everyone trying to make a big deal out of this? My family were only flying to Pakistan and crashed into 2 towers.
How do you spot a blind man in a nudist resort?
It's not hard.
I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.
How do computers get drunk?
They take a screenshot.
Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.
What do Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie have in common?
How do you tell the difference between a girl spaghetti and a boy spaghetti?
Meatballs.
I'm a rapist.
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
For so long, I thought I was a Gemini, apparently I'm Cancer!