Aed jokes
Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥
My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.
Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.
Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz?
"No computers allowed on the test!"
Out of a total population of 1.3 billion, no one in Africa actually speaks "African."
Africa spelled backwards is Acirfa, which means absolutely nothing. But Acirfa spelled backwards is Africa, which is a word.
When a rocketship went into space, seven astronauts went into space. That's why it's called NASA.
I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:
Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
Everyone thought I'd have a great year...
14 years just gave me more chances.
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
My stepsister is a big titty goth. Should I tap that?
My uncle was a priest.
He had a two-inch penis, but when it was in my ass, it felt like a torpedo.
Are you a knife?
Because I want to deep throat you.
An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country.”
The Asian man says “I’m here traveling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of fried rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong”
Why did the moderator of worstjokesever.com die?
He had a heart attack because he was a fat loser.
My friend and I got into a fight. I looked straight forward and said, "Look me in my eyes!"
Ever looked at a cemetery and thought, wow, Heaven and Hell must be crowded?
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?
You put food on the ceiling and they start jumping.
My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.
How do you organize a space themed birthday party?
You planet.