Aed jokes
What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?
You decide.
The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.
What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?
nsjajahdahwggwdgdvtwqfdvgcqgvhheydgdygsydgdfydwfwdgsqgsgyd
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"
Rot in hell?
More like nasty-ass thot in a well.
I burnt down a whole forest and asked myself, "Is this hell?"
Why is Jesus in pieces?
Because a one man band is Nine Inch Nails.
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they asked if I could pilot a plane.
9/11 was probably just a woman pilot.
A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."
They made a movie about 9/11.
It was a big hit.
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
A friend of mine says "Baguette" all the time cuz she is French.
Why did the chicken say to the football guy, "You quarter?"
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
Put a kid in a wheelchair in the Twin Towers. Damn, I love Hot Wheels!