Aed jokes
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The silence.
It’s almost take her to Spirit Halloween, and then rail her in a spooky mask season.
What is a pedophile’s favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
I don't blame Amber Heard for wanting Elon Musk, especially if Johnny Depp is hairy and smells like a port-o-potty full of cigarettes and gunsmoke.
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
When your mom fell down, a 10 magnitude earthquake shook the Earth.
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
Exercise?
I thought you said "extra fries!"
-A minion (you may now laugh).
I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.
My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.
Literally every movie:
"I love you." "I love you, too."
My life:
My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶
Top G advice: You’re either a smart fella or a fart smella.
Alabama.
Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.
Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."
Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on the scale and it says, "Hey fat b****, break your fat a** in half so you won't weigh as much!"
Luckily, his funeral was a closed casket, sorry, his car blew a gasket.
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."