Aed jokes

What do you call a garage that is gay?

A gyarge.

If Kobe missed a shot, his helicopter will too.

Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?

I told him to be a stand-up comedian!

Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."

The kid: But it has no home button.

Me: Exactly. 💀

Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

Someone turned off flight mode.

(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)

Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?

Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.

Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.

He was a great pilot.

My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.

Why can’t a gay person walk a trail? Because a gay person can’t walk on a straight line.

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

What is a dry swimmer?

Not in the water...

I'm not a robot, but orphans are.

Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.

Don't say you want to eat out a five-year-old's pussy, because I have already shoved a glass dildo in her tight ass pussy, UwU.

What kind of dress does a Roblox Floppa house have?

"ADDRESS!"

An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."

A homeless kid once said he will go home.

I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"

One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt.

What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?

They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.