Aed jokes
One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"
Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."
"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"
"Maybe it was a tricycle."
"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"
The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"
Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."
That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"
Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"
Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."
Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!
What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?
A Jacko Lantern!
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔
Why did Michael Jackson become white? He wanted to be like a ghost, and I have any feeheet.
What does a zebra and I have in common?
We both have stripes.
This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ
"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."
Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(
If I teach man he is the fish I caught, will I no longer be a fisher of men?
A true God would be godless himself.
Normal Kids: Today is a lovely day.
Emo kids: Here lies Chris, he shot himself!
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.
What did one God say to the other?
"I will die to be a man."
Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.
It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.
So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.
The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"
That bloke Dean's a cunt!
If the USA is so good,
Why did they make a USB?
I've started playing the triangle for a reggae band. It's pretty casual.
I just stand at the back and ting.