Aed jokes
This is a placeholder. I am a joke.
Q. Why did Josh Duggar cross the road?
A. There was a daycare on the other side.
Fall coming 🍁 grab you a hoodie & sum1's thick thigh baby mama to keep you warm 😌🍂
A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"
Lucifer is caged by Jesus, cuz he got tired of being alone on a pedestal.
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.
I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.
What do you call someone who subscribes to Toast4128 on YouTube?
A very good person.
Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five, but the tree left him hanging.
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
What do you call useless skin on a penis?
A man.
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.
I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.
A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"
The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"
A chopper full of white people is also called a helicopter.
A chopper full of black people is called a hellacopter.