Aed jokes

What do you call someone in a wheelchair with a gun? A rxd.

Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.

Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.

Are your ankles having a party? Because I think your pants should come on down.

If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?

You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.

If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.

I dunno man, worked for me.

What do you call a depressed person's life?

At this point, nonexistent.

The priest had a very holy shirt.

So, if there is a 7-Eleven and a 911, where's 811?

Gently throw a baby off a ten story building!

If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.

What do you call a rooster lollipop?

A cock sucker!

What's up?

A rocket from NASA.

OMG SO FUNNYY!

If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?

"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."

I watched a documentary called "Redline Carrera: Birth of the Memes." It all started with Paul Walker.

I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...

I used to be emo.

The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"

The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"

The school shooter: "I don't know."

The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."

Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."

Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."

A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.

I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.