Aed jokes

Why is sex like math?

You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?

Thanks for coming!

What do you call useless skin on a penis?

A man.

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.

What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.

I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.

What's funnier than a dead baby?

A dead baby in a clown suit.

A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.

A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"

The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"

A chopper full of white people is also called a helicopter.

A chopper full of black people is called a hellacopter.

Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?

That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.

Why can't you run with a pencil in the hallway? Because too many people got killed!

Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!

What do you call it when you have two Indians, one Black, and a fat White?

A s'more.

Q: What is the favorite song of the people who window dived out of the Twin Towers?

A: "Free Fallin'"

You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.

Hi! Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been so busy!!!! I miss y'all, though!

Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

A: You slap her.

My two moods are “I can’t believe I get to be a person” and “I can’t believe I have to be a person.”