Aed jokes

Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.

Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!

So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."

Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.

What would you rate this woman?

A 7.

Why?

Because 7 ate 9!

You're so poor, when you kicked a can, a man asked, "Are you moving?"

I poo 11 times a day.

What did the plane say to the tower?

"Give me a kiss."

When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.

Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!

POV: Get a banana cleaner and use it as a sex toy.

I went to the store the other day and scanned an emo's arm.

It gave me a discount!

I got a pen for my baby sister. Best trade I made so far.

There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)

I always use chloroform when stealing a child.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?

The emo girl still bleeds.

What would you rather be, emo or handicapped?

Trick question, emo is a handicap.

Why did the emo kid cross the road? To get a box of tissues!

Why don't emo girls date emo boys? Cause they've already got a pussy.

I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.

A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”

I said, “Well, which one are you then?”

I get paid more than $200 to $400 per hour for working online. I heard about this job 3 months ago, and after joining this, I have earned easily $30k from this without having online working skills. Simply give it a shot on the accompanying site...

Here is I started.............>> fixpay1.blogspot.com

They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group.

I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.