Aed jokes
Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.
Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.
Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.
My life is like... the shoe rack-
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.
I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"
She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"
I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"
What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?
Stuffed.
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
What do fish smoke? A puffer.
What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?
Orange because they're having a they/them baby.
Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
What hurts the most? 😹
A. Breaking up before chewing.
B. Breaking up after chewing.
What did the green grape say to the purple one?
"Calm down and take a breath."
Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"
Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."
Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"
He sang a love song to a rat, yet stans are befuddled on why people keep calling their idol "Wacko Jacko".
What's a Parkinson's victim's least favorite song?
Taylor Swift - "Shake it Off".
Why was the North Tower a bad doctor when the South Tower collapsed?
Because the North Tower didn’t do CPR.
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.