Aed jokes
What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?
The cat is actually cute.
Yo mama so dumb, she asked how much a free sample was.
What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?
A nun with a javelin through her neck.
Why can't orphans play on a computer?
'Cause they have no motherboard.
I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.
I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?
What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?
Murder.
What's black and white and read all over?
A newspaper.
What's black, white, black, white, red, white, black, red, black, then red all over?
A penguin falling down the stairs.
Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!
Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"
I have done a ton of work. A skele-ton.
So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.
Osama bin Laden
Got like 2,997 kills, damn, that's a new record!
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
What did the South tower get instead of pepperoni pizza?
It got a bunch of plane.