Aed jokes
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
My Asian girlfriend has a weird name. As I gave her anal, she was yelling "I'm too young."
What is your favorite amendment? A rapper.
Stephen Hawking never used a condom. He used a firewall.
Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!
I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.
A limbo champion walks into a bar.
A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.
Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”
Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?
A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.
I joined an emo class today. The first lesson I learned was slice and dice and let it flow.
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.
How do Asian parents name their baby?
They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.
A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.
The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
The snowballs.
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.