Aed jokes

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?

You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because he can't find home.

So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.

When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"

He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."

So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.

Anybody who doesn't like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker!

What do you call a Deranged Psychotic Woman with a Stupid Hairdo?

Answer: Keri Lake!

You're so poor that when you walked into an elevator, you thought it was a mobile home.

What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.

Yo mama so fat her yearbook picture was a double-page spread.

How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?

None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.

A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.

Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?

A: Because he is a "herbefore."

Yo mama so ugly, she got a lifetime ban from KFC for ordering too many burgers.

How do you give a woman from Alabama a nice compliment?

Answer: You say to her, "Hey, nice tooth!"

You can tell if a woman is angry if she is holding a gun.

What does an orphan say a lot? "Where is my house?"

A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.

She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.

Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?

He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.

Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.

Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.

WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.

I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.

If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?

A "retiree."

When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"

And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."

Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."

And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"

And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"

And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"

And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

What's the difference between a gun and a penis?

The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.