Aed jokes
A man comes to a bar and has a drink. Then his bully came to him and stole his drink. Then the bully asked, "What's wrong?"
The man said that "I'm trying to kill myself. I tried getting hit by a train, but the train went on a different track. Then I tried to jump off a bridge, but I fell on a boat full of pillows. Then I tried to poison myself."
Then the bully says, "Then what?" Then the man replied, "You just drank it." Then the man left.
1, 2 you built like a dork.
3, 4 you got no girl, 4, 5 you're shorter than a remote.
I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said... "Cuckoo coo chew." #Owl🦉
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.
What's the definition of suspicious?...
A nun doing sit-ups in a cucumber field. 💀
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.
What do you call a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bill Cosby?
Predator.
Fam, you weaker than a polar bear!
Gays: I like men.
Straight: I like women.
Bisexual: A hole is a hole.
Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.
Chuck Norris is a genius for this: Walker Texas Ranger = Wrangler Karate Sex.
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”
A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?”
The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!”
Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”
I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.
What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?
Absolutely nothing.
I caught a cold, Mary Earp caught the ball, what did the towers catch? The plane.
What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!
I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.
Yo mama so fat, she classified as a whole solar system.
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.