Aed jokes

I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.

When you're in the middle of a test and you hear gun shots.

How do you piss off a color blind person?

Give them a Rubik's cube.

Why are Mexican families so big?

They don’t know how to put a condom on.

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.

Crazy? I was crazy once, they put me in a room with rubber rats. Rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once...

If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.

My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"

o o a a.

My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.

What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?

At least one has a point.

What is the difference between me and food?

Food has a use.

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

What does a furry call a sexy furry?

A foxy lady!

In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.

I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."

How does she know I have that?

How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.

Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?

He didn't either.

How do you get a party started in Africa?

You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.

Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.