Aed jokes
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
The couple next door made a porn film.
They don’t know it yet.
Long time since I made a joke, huh? I used a Time Machine to make this one.
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.
Normally the reason you don't get a knife when you ask for one is because the person you asked is emo.
How do you win an argument against an emo kid?
Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
what's another name for cumming inside of a woman?
loading the dishwasher.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
What do you call a surprised Asian?
Ho Lee Fuc.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
I believe Alia is a true god because they say in the beginning there was an explosion.
Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"
What's an old Japanese man's last words?
"Hey, that cloud looks like a mushroom, or is it just me?"
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.