Aed jokes
How do you count cows? -- With a cowculator.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?
A buccaneer.
What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? -- "Curses! Foil again!"
I know a woman who owns a taser. -- She's stunning!
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
Why can't humans hear a dog whistle? -- Because dogs can't whistle.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? -- Well, the flag is a big plus.
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You stop milking a cow after 15 years.
What do you call a walkie-talkie for retards? -- A stumblie-mumblie.
If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?
I can't stand being in a wheelchair.
Why did Beethoven have trouble finding a music teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn.